Melissa Gilbert on Her Turbulent Relationship with Rob Lowe: 'I Wasn't Ready for the Fandom'

Melissa Gilbert Reflects on Her Tumultuous Relationship with Rob Lowe

Melissa Gilbert, best known for her role in Little House on the Prairie, has opened up about the challenges she faced during her six-year relationship with Rob Lowe. The actress shared insights into how their time together was marked by both growth and pain, particularly as they navigated the pressures of being in the public eye.

On the latest episode of the I Choose Me podcast, Gilbert, 61, spoke with host Jennie Garth about their early experiences in relationships under the spotlight. She reflected on what she learned from her time with Lowe, who she dated from 1981 to 1987. “I guess looking back on those six years, I mean, I was such a baby when Rob and I were together,” she said. “I was 17 and we broke up for the last time when we were 23 and it was very tumultuous.”

Gilbert described the difficulties that came with being in a relationship while both were rising stars. For her, the experience was especially challenging after Lowe’s breakthrough role in The Outsiders in 1983. “I felt like a bit of an old sage in the business at that point because I'd been doing it for so long,” she admitted. “And I was still on Little House on the Prairie when we met, and it had already been years, and he was sort of starting out. He'd done a little bit of television. And so I was able to sort of sit back and watch this meteoric rise happen.”

However, the fame that came with Lowe’s success brought unexpected challenges. “I don't think I was prepared for the stuff that came with it, necessarily,” she continued. “I was prepared for all of having to go to premieres and things and award shows and all of that, but I wasn't prepared for the fandom and frankly, the girls.”

At first, Gilbert viewed other women as her “sisters.” But she quickly realized that wasn’t the case. “I always thought that every girl and woman was my sister. We're sisters, but it was not evident at all when Rob and I were a couple,” she recalled. “I mean, it was like I didn't exist. They just pushed right past me and stick phone numbers in his pockets and stuff.”

She described the experience as deeply unsettling. “To say it was disconcerting is doing it a big disservice,” she said. “It was hard and horrible. I think I learned a lot about what didn't work for me, actually, and what I wouldn't stand for later on.”

Despite the pain, Gilbert acknowledged that there were moments of joy during the relationship. “They hurt. They’re hard because they usually are born of heartbreak and angst, but those are really valuable and important lessons… We had some really, really, really fun times,” she said.

Looking back, she expressed gratitude for her current life. “But in looking back, I look at the way my life is so easeful now and I look at it back then, and I feel like my shoulders were always up by my ears, always waiting for the next shoe to drop or something bad to happen or some, I don't know, something untoward or gross.”

Gilbert’s journey through relationships included marriages to Bo Brinkman from 1988 to 1994 and Bruce Boxleitner from 1995 to 2011. She has been married to Timothy Busfield since 2013.

As for Rob Lowe, he has been married to Sheryl since 1991, and the couple has two sons, Matthew and John Owen.