Happiness is a Choice: How I Learned to Be Happy—and You Can Too

The Link Between Happiness and Productivity

We often think of happiness as something that comes after we achieve success. However, the reality is quite different. Mental health and a sense of internal well-being are not luxuries; they are fundamental requirements for being effective, creative, and ultimately successful.

The connection between happiness and productivity is more than just a coincidence—it's everything. But this understanding didn’t come to me easily. Over the years, I learned through experience that true productivity can only be achieved when we prioritize our mental health.

A Shift in Perspective

I have been a family law attorney for 25 years. Every day, I deal with other people’s crises—divorces, wills, child custody battles, and the emotional pain that comes with family breakdowns. I’ve spent my career managing these situations, focusing on tasks, and surviving the chaos.

For a long time, I believed that being productive meant pushing through the stress, staying focused, and getting things done. But my body started sending me signals that I couldn’t ignore. My productivity dropped, and I found myself overwhelmed by emotional strain, leading to panic attacks and frequent stomachaches. I asked myself if it was all worth it—doing meaningful work while suffering mentally.

That’s when I decided to change my approach. Instead of asking, “How can I get more done?” I began asking, “How do I feel this morning, and how can I feel better today?” This small shift transformed my entire way of working and living.

Mental Health as Infrastructure

Mental health isn't a luxury; it's the foundation of success. The belief that we'll be happy once we succeed is a common misconception. In reality, it's the opposite: Only when we feel good within ourselves can true success follow in all areas of life.

I still live in a fast-paced world filled with urgent cases and demanding clients. But I now make sure to take at least one moment each day to ground myself. In 2023, I embarked on a personal experiment where I posted daily insights on Instagram—simple thoughts, exercises, or tips that helped me stay positive and grounded. Even on days when I lacked energy, I kept this commitment.

Over time, I noticed a change. I became calmer, happier, and more effective. It wasn’t because I stopped working hard, but because I started investing in myself. I gave myself the same attention I give to every task in my business.

Key Principles for Greater Efficiency

Here are six simple principles that have helped me become more efficient, creative, and focused:

1. Treat yourself like your most important project
   If you wouldn’t cancel a meeting with a strategic partner for another call, why would you skip sleep, meals, or exercise? You are the most important project you’ll ever manage.

2. Plan breathing moments, not just tasks
   Don’t leave rest for “if there’s time left.” Schedule it like any other important task. Take five deep breaths with your eyes closed and feel the difference in your clarity and focus.

3. Turn off screens to turn on awareness
   Just 15 minutes a day without notifications can improve your focus more than any time management technique. Think of it as medicine for your inner peace.

4. Ask one question every morning
   What will make me feel good today? Not what needs to be accomplished, but what will bring energy into the system. Plan it like any other task.

5. Talk to yourself as if you were someone you appreciate
   Encourage, forgive, and thank yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, but those who practice self-compassion find it easier to move forward.

6. Ask yourself a different question at the end of the day
   Instead of “What did I accomplish?” ask, “How did I feel while I was doing it?” Your emotional state matters just as much as your results.

Eymi Bechor-Bouni is a leading family law attorney, owner of one of Israel’s top firms, a lecturer, coach, mediator, and mother of three. She hosts the podcast “The Academy for Crisis Management” and is the author of the book “300 Things I Learned About Relationships, Career and Happiness.”