Dad of 11-Year-Old College Grad Reveals His Top Parenting Rule: 'She Comes First'

A Unique Approach to Education

Rafael Perales' life has been centered around his daughter Alisa's education. At just 11 years old, she has already earned two associate degrees in mathematics and general science from Crafton Hills College, a public community college in Yucaipa, California. She started her academic journey at the age of 8 and is set to begin studying for a bachelor’s degree in computer science at the University of California, Riverside this fall.

Rafael, now 51, made a significant career change when Alisa was just one year old. He left his job as a trial attorney in San Bernardino, California, to focus on raising and educating his daughter. For him, the decision was clear: "Kids come first. She comes before everything, including myself."

The Decision to Prioritize Education

When Rafael made the choice to leave his career, Alisa was already learning the alphabet and counting into the hundreds. His other child, a son who is now 32, had already moved out of the house and was working as a plumber's apprentice. Rafael believed that by giving Alisa one-on-one attention, he could provide her with the best possible start in life.

Financial struggles were inevitable without his law income, but the family managed through a commercial property Rafael owned in Yermo, California. This property had been purchased with a modest inheritance from his parents. Despite the challenges, Rafael remained confident that focusing on Alisa's education was the right decision.

Creating a Structured Learning Environment

By the time Alisa was 2, she could read on her own. Rafael home-schooled her until she was 8, when she completed the coursework required to earn her high school diploma in California. He used different curricula and online teaching guides based on her interests and skill level.

To help Alisa stay focused, Rafael established a regular routine for her, which experts say can help children feel more secure while learning. They followed a schedule of instruction and schoolwork from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., five days per week. However, he also made sure not to overwork her, allowing time for playdates and weekly trips to Disneyland.

Vacations were also opportunities for learning, with visits to places like the Grand Canyon or Mount Rushmore to explore subjects such as history and geography. Rafael believes their approach was productive, even if it wasn't the same as a traditional public school.

Future Plans and Continued Support

Alisa's future plans include meeting new people, traveling, and eventually working in the tech industry. She hopes to run her own startup. Rafael intends to support her through most of these plans, including chaperoning her travel and possibly co-founding her startup. She will live at home and commute to UC Riverside, and Rafael will be on campus during her classes, meaning he likely won’t return to a full-time job soon.

"When people ask: 'Are you going back to work?' I say, 'Yeah, I might slow down and relax and do something like a 9-to-5 again someday.' But not now," says Rafael.

The Importance of Quality Time

While many parenting experts caution against neglecting personal well-being, research shows that active parental involvement in a child's education can lead to better academic performance. Studies indicate that kids whose parents are invested in their learning often achieve higher test scores and show increased motivation and engagement at school.

Child psychologist Tovah Klein emphasizes that the quality of time spent with children matters more than the quantity. She notes that children thrive on meaningful interactions and relationships, which can help them become happy, confident, and motivated to succeed.

Additional Resources

For those looking to enhance their personal brand and grow their professional network, there are courses available that offer valuable insights and strategies. These resources can help individuals stand out in their careers and build a strong digital presence. Special discounts and exclusive community access are also available for those interested in connecting with experts and peers.